Love In Violence
by Cool Kid1
Summary: Unrequited Love turns to Jealousy, then to Violence. What happens if Squall falls in love w/ his best friend (Zell), but his best friend is fallin in love w/ his enemy(Seifer). Will Squall let his Zell be w/ his mortal enemy. My 1st fic, pls R
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: The name of the characters and places are not mine. 

Note: The setting is before the Ultimecia War where Quistis is still an instructor and Squall and others are still candidates to be SeeDs. 

I would like to thank Happy Cabbage for inspiring me to write my own fanfiction. This is my first, so give me a break. Will ya? Any review will be appreciated. Thanx. Rating will go up.

LOVE IN VIOLENCE

By Cool Kid

Chapter 1

            All things started in a fine weather day in May where flowers were just starting to bloom while the butterflies in every color were dancing around them. Every blade of grass sparkled with dew. The sky was blue with no trace of any cloud. The breeze was gentle. 

            On a little hill outside Balamb Garden, there stood a small, yet strong maple tree. And under that tree, Squall was sitting with his arms under his head and legs open wide. He was gazing at the place and almost considered it as heaven.  

            The only problem was, he was not fully enjoying the exquisite beauty of the place, as he was not sharing it with anyone. All Squall wanted was to lie down under that tree with a friend, so that he could tell what was bothering him. _Heck, I want to voice out what I'm feeling_, said Squall to the nature. He wanted someone to laugh with instead of being laughed at, someone tell his secrets to so that he would be relieved, someone that would offer a shoulder to cry on and someone who's willing to give comfort. But most of all, he wanted to fill the void inside of him. But he could never do all those things or have that someone, as he was afraid to open up to anyone. He didn't want to attach himself to any person emotionally, as he was afraid they'd hurt him in the end. He thought about Zell; his only friend, his comfort. But would Zell understand Squall's loneliness? Squall was afraid that Zell would not return the same feeling of longing and of love. __

            _Lone wolf, ha, _thought Squall. Squall felt that every person he knew labelled him that, but he said to himself that he didn't care what anyone thought of him. But the irony was, he did.

            Squall had enough. _I don't want to spend this freaking life alone anymore, _cried Squall on top of his lungs that startled the birds in every tree. As if a revelation had come to his senses, he realized that he wanted to live his life fully with friends around him and a lover on his side. It was an epiphany that changed his perspective forever. 

            His mind focused back on Zell. On the incident he had with him. Quistis made them partner at one point and assigned them to go to the Fire Cavern where a Guardian Force was residing to train fighting with fire-elemental monsters. Combating side bye side, Squall felt secured around the martial artist. He saw how good Zell was and realized that he could trust Zell with his life. And with that realization, and for the first time, Squall was scared. He was scared to know that he had someone he could trust. It scared him to death that he was letting his emotional guard down. 

            However, Zell, in the end, penetrated Squall's wall when he saved his life. Going back to the Garden after a victorious training in the Fire Cavern, Squall was poisoned by a small snake. Both of them were taken off guard, as they were busy talking about the battles they had in the Cavern. 

            "Squall! SQUALL. Behind you!" warned Zell. But it was too late. The venomous snake had bitten him.

            "Ahh, shit," said Squall as he started loosing grip of himself. He was falling down. But Zell caught him with his bare hands, and decided to lay him down the ground.

            Both of them ran out of healing potion, and the venom on Squall's leg was spreading tremendously. Zell didn't hesitate to suck up the venom from Squall's leg and spit it out. Zell took control. He tore up his T-shirt so he could tie it around Squall's leg to prevent the venom from spreading. Squall went unconscious, exhausted from the training and the venom that was in his body. 

            Despite Squall's bigger body and body mass, Zell lifted him up on his short, yet strong arms, and then looped Squall's hands around his neck. Zell delivered Squall in the Infirmary just in time. 

            Squall woke up the next morning wondering how he got there. The last thing he remembered was Zell sucking his bite, and Squall then figured out that Zell must have carried him all the way here. But wondering how Zell could have carried him.

            "Hey, you okay?" said Zell. Squall then noticed that Zell was sitting beside him.

            "Yeah, thanks," Squall could only mutter.

            "Don't mention it," said Zell with a soft tone of voice, while a smile was starting to form.

            "Really thanks," Squall said again. "How long have you been sitting there?" 

            "Ten…fifteen minutes. Oh well, I got to go, class is starting soon. I'm just glad to see you okay."  

            Squall did not say anything. 

            "I'll just say to Quistis that you're here."   

            And with that sentence, Zell left, but not before he saw Squall smiled for the first time. Zell did not know why he did, considering what just happened to him.

            That incident happened almost a month ago. Reflecting then, Squall realized that he was happy that a snake bit him, as it made him closer Zell. _A blessing in disguise_, Squall thought. Squall, also for the first time, was touched. Zell destroyed squall's strong protective wall. But it did not damage Squall, albeit he made Squall stronger. 

            As each day passed by, his friendship grew, almost to the extent that he cared for Zell with all his heart. And it even grew stronger as he saw Zell's smile every day. Squall was fighting the urges to just hug Zell and to be with him all the time. He was falling in love with a man. Though, he fought so hard to deny it, it was inevitable that he would finally accept the fact that he had fallen in love with his best friend, and unfortunately, with a man. But Squall was afraid that Zell might not feel the say same. All he wanted in the beginning was a friend, but instead he found someone to love.

             But no matter what, he had to tell Zell how much he cared for him and how much he loved him. He could not keep it any longer. Squall decided to look for Zell. He wanted to see Zell's jovial face again, as it always brightened his day. He knew that his tattooed friend was the only person who could understand him, though he still didn't know if he would accept him as a lover. Heck, he didn't even know if Zell was gay. Squall stood up under that maple tree and ran excitedly towards their dormitory. When he got there, Zell was not around. 

            _Damn. Where could he be?_  Squall thought to himself. He decided to go to the library as he realized that Zell always went there to get a glimpse at that pony-tailed girl. _Damn her. _ But he wasn't there. Squall's excitement didn't go down, albeit it even made his heart to pump faster. He then went to the Training Facility, but with no avail, he didn't find him there. Instead, he found the T-Rex that almost killed him once. _Fuck_. Squall swore at the monster. But with the longing to find Zell and his desire to tell everything, Squall was able to beat the living daylights out of that monster. He knew, as he grinned widely to himself, that no T-Rex would bother him anymore.  

            And even though Squall was tired from fighting the monster and running crazy as hell inside the Garden, he still found strength to continue searching for Zell. 

            _I have waited for so long to have this conviction and desire in my heart to share my soul to another, and I'm not gonna blow this now just because of some obstacles. _Squall continued this train of thought for a few minutes as he ransacked every room he could reach in the Garden. And as he was striding quickly in the corridor, he bumped into Quistis. 

            "Squall, what's the hurry?" said her with a hint of authority. 

            "Have you seen Zell?" asked Squall almost pleadingly.

           "Yes, he said he was going to visit his Ma in town," said Quistis matter-of-factly.

            "Finally," said Squall almost to himself, ignoring the Instructor.

            Squall ran as fast as he could, and as he did, his heart began to pump heavily again. He reached Zell's house. But before he could knock, a thought hit him.

_            Are you ready? Are you ready to tell everything? To tell that you feel lonely and that you enjoy Zell's company. And to tell him that you love him…_ _FUCK. Of course I am READY._

            And with that last sentence, Squall pounded his knuckles on the Dincht's door. But no one answered. He tried again several times. But no one seemed to be inside the house, as it was silent. Squall thought that maybe Zell didn't arrive yet and decided to wait for him outside the door. While he was waiting, he started to hear sounds emanating from the wall of the house. Squall leaned his ear over to the nearest window. He was surprised. He heard two male voices talking to each other. 

            "Please, do it for me," says the one.

            "Someone will get mad," says the other who sounded very anxious.

            Squall's heart started to pump faster again. He was hearing voices, and he knew that one of the voices was coming from Zell. But the other voice, he did not know, though it sounded very familiar. Squall panicked, or perhaps annoyed. He realized that his best friend and love was there inside the house all along. _What's happening? Didn't they hear my knock?_ He asked himself. _Why didn't Zell answer the door? Is he hiding something from me? _He leaned his ear more closely to the bottom of the window with his hands resting on the wall. 

            While he was trying to listen, he realized that he was prying. _This is wrong. Zell is my friend. He'd tell me if there is something going on, _Squall thought. But then, he rationalized that if Zell were his friend, then he would not hide anything from him, unless…unless it was going to hurt anyone. This train of thought continued for several minutes until one of the voices yelled. 

            "COME ON! I don't care if he finds out!" Squall then realized that it was Seifer, his archenemy. Squall knew that arrogant tone perfectly well. 

            "But I do," responded Zell almost pleadingly. 

            "No you don't care! And I know you want to do it too."

            "I just can't."

            There was something odd about the way Zell said that sentence. Squall thought that this was the sound of a concerned voice that was being forced to do something against his will. Squall knew the feeling.

            Squall consequently heard footsteps and tried to look over the window. He saw Zell leaving the house. Squall hurried himself away from Zell's house, as he didn't want Zell to find out that he was listening to his "secretive" conversation.  

            Squall ran as fast as he could, and by the time he stopped halfway through Garden, he was gasping. He was shaking. He knew that he was far away enough from Zell's house.  He continued walking until he got to his room. When he got to his dorm, he went straight to his bed. While lying on his bed, he started to comprehend what just happened. He wanted to profess his love to his best friend and decided to look for him. But instead, he found and heard a mysterious conversation from Zell, his joy, and Seifer, his torment. 

            As he thought about the conversation, he came up to the conclusion that Seifer wanted Zell to do something that would hurt someone, perhaps him. But out of fear and concern, Zell didn't do it. But what he didn't know was the task that was being asked to do, and how it would hurt someone. _Could it be_? Squall thought suspiciously. He was thinking something that would destroy everything. _IT CAN'T BE! _ Squall screamed. He wanted to be sure of that thought. He wanted to find out everything, and he would do whatever means necessary to do it.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Characters and places are not mine

Note: This chapter is intended for mature readers. I tried to be as delicate as I could. Please inform me, through reviews, if the content of this chapter exceeds the rating of "R," 'cause I'm not sure.  I don't want to get into trouble. So tell me, before you report me to the authority.  Thanx.

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LOVE IN VIOLENCE

By: Cool Kid

Chapter 2

            Seifer was mad. _Fuck._ He was annoyed by Zell's refusal. He didn't care if someone finds out or someone gets hurt. All he cared about was fulfilling his own egocentric desires. He was determined to get everything he wanted, as he always did. However, Seifer knew that getting Zell would be a challenge. Zell's refusal made Seifer want him even more. Seifer thought it was very sexy, arousing and hardening. Keeping him at the edge by the boy he craved made his knees weak, even though he knew he should keep the arrogant façade so not to lose face. The boy he teased, the boy he wanted would be the boy who would fulfill his hunger, his craving and his lust. 

            Zell's sky-blue eyes, rich blond hair and fine succulent lips excite him. His masculine, voluptuous hard body made Seifer drool like a dog. Every time he saw Zell walked down the corridor from afar, his gaze at him, without blinking and faltering, stayed until he could no longer see him. But every time Zell saw Seifer staring at him, Seifer could only tease him as if Zell was wearing something ridiculous. Though, he always wanted to get Zell's attention, and he knew that the only way he could achieve that was to annoy him, to torment him, so that Zell would never forget him – even if Zell were remembering him as a pain in the ass. 

            But the more he thought about the conversation they had, the more he felt guilty. _God, why should I_? He questioned himself.He knew from the beginning that he would hurt some people he cared for, or even the people he didn't even give a damn. But no matter what, it was inevitable. What he wasn't sure about was the exact time and place where things will be revealed. Seifer decided to wait, as he thought everything would unfold itself in its appropriate environment. He then lied down on his bed smilingly, but what happened still hurt.

***

            Zell was distressed. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know if he should do the right thing or do what he desired. The former would lead to the conformity of the majority while the latter would lead to a satisfying stance  - but would consequently lead to suffering.

            Seifer wanted him, he knew that perfectly well. Seifer made him sure, from the conversation they had that afternoon, that he understood what he wanted – a fuck buddy, someone who will fulfill his hunger of sex. Zell knew that the guy had been staring at him for almost a month. He knew that Seifer wanted him. But all he could do was to smile at him and make Seifer lust after him even more. What scared him to death was that he wanted that pompous Seifer as well. Seifer knew that, but what Seifer did not know was that Zell was afraid to commit himself to Seifer. 

            Zell knew that Seifer only wanted someone to have sex with, someone to kiss and someone he could own. But Zell wanted more; he wanted an emotional relationship and not just pure physical bonding. Zell was afraid that Seifer would not play that role, and that he would not share his feelings. 

            But Zell also lusted after Seifer. The tall, green-eyed, wide-shouldered man wore a charisma that made him a feast to Zell's eyes. The elegance Seifer had made Zell chilled to the bones. But Zell could not risk having sex with him. He knew that Seifer was not ready for an emotional relationship. Zell was not willing to risk everything yet, his virginity, his emotion, and his soul. He wanted to develop an emotional attachment with Seifer before he could offer his body to him.     

            Moreover, Zell didn't want to hurt anyone, but at the same time, he wanted to satisfy his craving. What's worse was that he suspected that Squall was suspecting something for the past week. He knew that Squall would be shattered if he gave Seifer as chance, not because of the profanity of homosexuality, he didn't even know that Squall was gay, but because Seifer was Squall's mortal enemy. He knew that every time Squall saw Seifer, it made his blood boil. And for Squall to see his best friend together with his enemy would only destroy him. 

            Zell knew that Squall was improving as person. He knew that Squall was growing, trying to be open and trying to socialize. If Zell fulfill his desire with Seifer, Squall might go back to his slumber – to a deeper turmoil. Zell didn't want that to happen, as he'd feel guilty for being the one to push Squall back into darkness.  He didn't want Squall to go back to that darkness because he really cared for Squall and considered him as his best friend and mentor. Zell even idolized Squall for his elegance in fighting. In addition to Squall's silence and imposing attitude. 

            _Sexy_, he thought. But he didn't want to go to that kind of thinking. 

            Zell focused back on what happened yesterday.  Seifer had finally cornered him in his own home. Ma Dincht went for the supermarket to get their groceries. Seifer took the chance and went inside. Zell was surprised to see Seifer who was six-foot away from where he was standing. He did not know that Seifer had followed him. 

            Both men's eyes were fixed on one another, oblivious about the sounds around them. They didn't need to speak, as they both understood what their eyes were telling them. Both of them stopped breathing, Zell couldn't handle it anymore. He gave in when Seifer wet his lip with his tongue.  _Damn, he's hot, _said Zell to himself while almost all of his blood went down to his lower body. He was aroused.

            Zell didn't wait any longer and suddenly grab Seifer face and place his lips on him. Seifer was satisfied to feel Zell's touch. Seifer returned the kiss and open his mouth to put his tongue in Zell's. Zell complied as he let his own tongue to experience pleasure with Seifer's.     

            But as if a lighting bold hit Zell, he suddenly pulled away and punched Seifer on his left cheek. Zell thought about Squall. Seifer was taken aback. He thought that Zell was only teasing him, playing kinky. But after a few seconds, Zell sat down on a nearest chair and put his hands on his face, a tear falling down his cheek. 

            "Sorry, I can't. " said Zell as his voice cracked. "I just can't."

            "Please, do it for me," responded Seifer.

            "I can't. I really can't."

            "Why?" asked Seifer almost pleadingly.

            "Someone will get mad."

            "COME ON!" said Seifer who was really annoyed by that time. "I don't care if he finds out!"

            Zell was surprised. _Did he mean Squall? How did he know?_

            "I meant Ma," lied Zell.

            "I know _who_ you meant," glared Seifer. "I don't care if he's your best friend." 

            "But I do," Zell finally admitted. He didn't want to hurt Squall. "He'd be crushed if he finds out that I'm sleeping with his enemy." 

            "No you DON'T! I know you want me as much as I want you."

            "I just can't."

            And with that last line, Zell broke down into tears and went for the door. He wanted to run as fast as he could to escape the pain of trying to decide. 

            While he was leaving his house that afternoon, leaving Seifer alone in his house, he saw a human shadow moving towards another building.  He thought it was a burglar, but it was too early. _What if someone heard our conversation? _thought Zell. Though still torn apart in trying to decide between his best friend and his soon-to-be lover, he still worried about that someone who was outside his house. Worried that it was Squall. No matter how hard he tried to calm himself, he just couldn't. He knew he was being paranoid.__

_***_

            That night Squall couldn't sleep, and when he did, he dreamt things he wished were real…

            Zell was running in a dark forest under the moonlight, he was lost. Squall saw him and ran after him. "Why are you running so fast?" hollered Squall, finally catching up with Zell. When Zell saw him, he stopped.

            "I'm running because…because I'm afraid. I am afraid of the masked man who was following me," answered Zell in Squall's dream. In that dream, Zell was glowing as the color of that bright moon. And he seemed shaken with fear. He was trembling and gasping for breath.

            Squall saw Zell crying, and he felt that it was his duty to comfort him. Squall then put his arms around Zell's shoulder.  

            "Is this okay?" asked Squall as he started to move his hands around Zell's back. Zell didn't answer. All he did was look deep into Squall's grey eyes. After several minutes that seemed eternal, Zell calmed down. He then hesitantly touched Squall's lips with his index finger. Squall then took hold of Zell's finger with his hand and slowly moved it across his face. Squall carefully pulled Zell's finger into his mouth and swallowed it hungrily while sucking it harshly. Zell was aroused.

            "Is that good?" Squall said after he took Zell's finger out of his mouth. Zell nodded as he decided to slowly lay his own lips to Squall. He sucked Squall's lower lip, while Squall started to move his hands towards Zell's behind. Zell opened his mouth and let Squall discovered his tongue with his own. 

            Squall grabbed Zell's rear and squeeze it with much excitement. _Nice,_ thought Squall. Both felt each other's hard cock as they got closer and closer to each other until their crotches were pressed against one another tightly. Zell moved his lips down to Squall's neck – nibbling Squall's Adam's apple. Zell started to unbutton Squall's pants while making his succulent kisses way down to Squall's chest.   

            After Zell unbuttoned Squall's pants. Zell pulled away. Squall was confused but only to find out that Zell just wanted to unbutton his own pants. While doing so, Squall ran his one hand on Zell's muscular chest while the other on Zell's back neck.

            "Holy shit!" said Squall. He was impressed and got more excited as he saw that Zell wasn't wearing any underwear. Zell only grinned almost wickedly. 

            Squall bent down to Zell only to suck Zell's aroused nipple. Squall continued to suck it hungrily while Zell put his hands on top of Squall's head while he bent up his head – blissful of Squall's touch.

            Squall finally went to Zell's crotch but avoiding the most pleasurable part of Zell's body. Zell knew that Squall was teasing him, as Squall only played around his genital, only kissing Zell's abdomen and thigh.

            "Pleasssseee," said Zell whisperingly and Squall finally decided to touch Zell's cock with his hand. Squall hold Zell's huge instrument tightly and started pulling it – up and down. 

            "Ohhhh" was Zell's only response to this. But Squall even made it more pleasurable as he slowly put his mouth on Zell's hardened part. Squall licked the head of Zell's pecker while he succulently swallowed it.

            Zell was in deep cloud nine; thinking he was in heaven as he felt Squall's warm mouth sucking his sexual organ. Squall took Zell in from tip to base. 

            "Squallllll, I'm gonna cum," muttered Zell. But Squall realized this as he suddenly pulled his mouth away from Zell's hardened organ…    

              "Squall, Squall, SQUALL." 

            Squall bolted right up, feeling his shorts wet with semen, and suddenly realized that he was out of the dream. _Damn, it ended._ Zell was looking down at him, grinning. 

            Squall was about to speak when he found out that his thumb was inside his mouth.

            "So, ya missing your baby bottle milk," joked Zell.

            Squall only looked at him almost angrily, but he was happy nevertheless to see the smile on Zell's face.  

            "I'm just kidding," said Zell as he sat down on Squall's bed, only to leave the room seconds later. "So, where you having a wonderful dream?"

            "You could say that," was Squall could only mutter.

            "Oh well, see ya later," as Zell went for the door. 

            Squall looked at the clock, it was a quarter before eight.

            "Shit, I have fifteen minutes to get ready for class," said Squall to himself smilingly as the thought of Quistis wondering why he was late, as he was never late before in his life.

            While getting ready for class, he realized that that idea of a seventeen-year –old guy with his thumb in his mouth was, unfortunately, hilarious. 

            He thought about the dream, he was sucking Zell's dick, but he was actually sucking his thumb. _Ha_. Laughed Squall. But what bothered him was the fact that he was the masked man Zell was running away from in that dream. It didn't make sense. Nevertheless, the dream was satisfying, and it even made Squall's desire stronger to profess his love to Zell.

***

            "I'm late. I'm late. I'm freaking late," muttered Squall while trying to get to the classroom on time. He didn't really care if Quistis scold him for being late, much less what others thought. But it was more for him – he takes pride and honour in doing something appropriate and good. He was trying to attend classes and get good grades for his own self, not for anybody unlike others who tried to do good things because they were afraid of their parents and of the law.   

            But Squall was not the only one who was late. Seifer Almassy, the no-good Disciplinary prick that brought sufferings to his life was also walking towards the classroom. Though he wasn't in a hurry like Squall.

            "Watch it, bitch!" yelled Seifer when Squall almost knocked him down, as Squall didn't see him coming from the adjacent hallway. 

            Squall's happiness in that morning due to the pleasant dream he had last night, was then ruined by his enemy's presence. He then remembered the conversation he heard yesterday from Zell and Seifer.

            "Fuck off Almassy!" retorted Squall.

            "My, my, my. Watch your language Leonheart. You do realize that I'm still the head of the Disciplinary Committee. Don't you?" smiled Seifer wickedly.

            "Get lost!" said Squall as he distanced himself from Seifer.

            Seifer, who Squall never considered as an authority, was not surprised by Squall's tone of voice. Though, he never got bored insulting his partner in combat. 

            "Speaking of getting lost, I heard you lost your way in Balamb Town yesterday," commented Squall strategically, wanting to find out what really happened between Seifer and Zell. Though he said that sentence as though he was insulting Seifer's ability to navigate. Squall wanted to know what Seifer was doing in Zell's house in the first place, when he knew that Zell, like him, was mad as hell at Seifer.

            "None of your goddam business!" growled Seifer, who was obviously surprised by this, and still mad at Zell's refusal. He made sure that no one saw him that day, but he was mistaken.

            Squall was pleased with himself that Seifer took the bait. _That got his attention_, he said to himself.

            "The great and mighty Almassy lost his way in a little town," Squall teased, trying to play his cards correctly so he could get information from Seifer. "Ah, the little kid lost his way. I must say that you disappointed me Almassy."

            "SHUT YOUR HOLE LEONHEART," screamed Seifer who was then at the top of his anger. "Or else!" 

            "Or else what? I know where you went! Faggot!" snapped Squall with a great emphasis on the last word. Though, he didn't know if Seifer was really a faggot. He didn't even know where that came from. But he was gambling, and he still suspected the worst.  

            "WHY…YOU…" screamed Seifer with his eyes popping out while blowing a punch on Squall's left cheek. But Squall didn't flinch. 

            "You COCK SUCKER!" screamed Squall on top of his lungs. But he did not know if he should be happy that his suspicion was true, but one thing he knew, he was sure mad as hell that a faggot like Seifer had something to do with his love. "What did you do to Zell? Huh! Tell me!"

            "Not your fucking business!"

            "Tell ME! You horny bastard!"

            With this line, Seifer tried to punch Squall again, but Squall was prepared for it. Squall dodged it by ducking. While he was underneath the tall man, he threw an uppercut that hit Seifer's chin and jaw. 

            "TELL ME!" demanded Squall again. But by the time Seifer could punch back. Zell screamed.

            "STOP."

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Ooh, what will Zell do? What will happen?

Note: A review would be really, really, really great. Thank you very much for reading (you have no idea how much satisfaction the authors get when someone reads their work, much more if you review them) and I apologize if this is a cliffhanger. One more thing, if you want to know when I'm going to update (assuming, hopefully :: trying to cross my fingers here ::  that you like the story) just leave your e-mail address on the review so that I can inform you.


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